You used to be joined at the hip, but since the arrival of her bambino your best friends seems distracted, unavailable and unfocused. Meanwhile, she makes you feel self-centered, thoughtless and unsympathetic. We feel your pain! A new baby can sound the death knell for friendships, especially if you’re yet to board the baby bandwagon. Don’t give up hope though, because while your relationship may have changed, it’s far from over. Yes, she’s a bit preoccupied with motherhood, but she still loves you. In fact, here are eight things new mums wish their child-free friends knew…
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #1 We’re a teeny bit jealous of you
You’re dancing on tables; we’re flat out by 9pm (if we’re lucky). You’re rocking skinnies, we’re grateful if we make it through the day without baby vomit in our hair. Yes, life with little ones is rewarding, amazing, magical and uplifting, but there are certainly times when we miss the freedom of our child-free days. You might feel like we’re not interested in your jam-packed social life, but actually, we’re a teeny bit jealous.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #2 We miss you
We might seem incapable of answering calls or texts, but believe it or not we didn’t stop caring about you the moment we landed on Planet Parenthood. We miss you. A lot. We want to see you. A lot. But even something as simple as meeting for a coffee is a giant exercise for us in the early days – think diaper bag, buggy, car seat and half a dozen pacifiers. It’s going to take us a little time to regain our balance, so be patient.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #3 Babies need their mums
When we say we can’t meet for lunch because it falls right in the middle of nap time, or that we can’t go out late because we have to be home to breastfeed, we’re not making excuses. Young babies rely on their mothers a heck of a lot, and in the early days it’s very difficult to pass that responsibility to anyone else. We’re not being overprotective, clingy or co-dependent, we’re just trying to be good mums.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #4 We want you to love our kids
Remember way back when we first met? Friendship blossomed because you are fun/witty/kind/compassionate [insert appropriate adjective here]. All of the reasons we love you as a friend are exactly the reasons we want our kids to love you too. So come round for cuddles, offer to change the odd nappy and sit in on a bath time now and again. Pretty soon baby will love you as much as we do.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #5 We want to chat on the phone, but we can’t
You know when you call up and we sound like we’re trying to get off the phone as soon as possible? We’re not. Well, we are, but not because we don’t want to talk to you. We do want to talk to you. In fact we really miss those hour-long chinwags we used to have, but now if we sit down for a chat that’s longer than 10 seconds, it’s guaranteed to be interrupted by bath time, nap time, change time or feed time. You see our dilemma.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #6 Your problems still matter to us
There ‘aint no getting away from it. The tiny human being is our top priority. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t care about what’s going on in your life. We might not be as readily available to chat as we were, but make no mistake, if there’s a mean girl in your office who’s getting on your nerves, or a hot new guy who’s asked you out, we want to know about it. Please don’t ever feel like your concerns and issues are not important to us.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #7 We’re still us. No, really
When we’re with our mum mates, talk usually turns to breastfeeding, immunizations, poo consistency (seriously). Yes, we’re mums, but we also want to stay true to ourselves and we know that all we need is a couple of hours in your company and we’ll feel like ‘us’ again.
Things new mums wish their child-free friends knew: #8 We’re not judging you for not having kids
We’ve all heard about those ghastly people who, upon becoming parents, suddenly view your child-free life as meaningless and empty. If those people really exist, we wouldn’t be friends with them either, so please don’t assume we feel the same way. We are 100% respectful of your life choices and fully get that having a baby isn’t the only way to fulfill yourself. End of.